目录 Catalog：1. 顺皇宠爱的情人 Emperor Shun's Favorite Valentines；2. 两只晕羊Two Fainting Sheep；3. 祸起萧墙 Trouble Arises from Within；4. 天兵降临 Sky Soldiers Descend；5. 郑伦和陈奇失业了 Correct-Ethic and Exhibit-Strange are Unemployed；6. 尘香听走神了 Dust-scent was Lost in Thought；7. 应急国安措施Emergency National Security Measures；8. 社会的根基 Foundation of Society；9. 讨论找工作 Discussions on Job Hunting；10. 女娲造人出错了 Nuwa Made a Mistake in Creating Humans

郑伦和陈奇（如图14.12-2），号黑白双煞，是商朝（公元前1600—1046年）初年顺皇（如图1）时代的两位将军，功劳卓著。退休后，他俩被黄帝大禹封为了窑神来守位本文中的行宫（汉窑）。因为他们俩的智慧特殊，法力无边，大禹称他俩功德无量，就被佛教尊为无量佛了。

Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange (as shown in Figure 14.12-2), known as the Black and White Fearsome, were two generals during the reign of Emperor Shun (see fig. 1) in the early Shang Dynasty (1600–1046 BCE), distinguished by their outstanding achievements. After retiring, they were consecrated by Yellow Creator Big Yu as Kiln Gods of the Migration Palace (Han Kiln). Renowned for their extraordinary intelligent gnosis and boundless juristic powers, Big Yu honored them as immeasurably virtuous, leading Buddhism to venerate them as Infinite Buddhas.

他们俩又被称作哼哈二将；在现代社会，大亨仍然是绝对权威的代名词。人们一提到大亨这个词，都肃然起敬。郑伦和陈奇喜欢葵花。图4是墨西哥雨神特拉洛克（他是佛，金童，亚当，墨西哥的缔造者）在六百年前为他俩画的葵花。

They are also known as the Heng and Ha Generals. In modern society, the term “Big Heng” remains synonymous with absolute authority. The mere mention of the term “Big Heng” commands profound respect. Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange love sunflowers. Figure 4 depicts the sunflowers painted for them six hundred years ago by Tlaloc, the Mexican rain god (who is also a Buddha, Gold Boy, Adam, and the creator of Mexico).

1. 顺皇宠爱的情人 Emperor Shun's Favorite Valentines

尘香和尘凡常和守窑的士兵们一起操练，和将军们摔跤，交流武艺。尘香注意到了两位高大英俊的将军，郑伦和陈奇。他俩常路过行宫，但从不和其他的将军交流武艺。尘凡已经和他俩对视过几次了，看他们俩动作僵硬迟缓，上马下马时小心翼翼的。人们说他俩是顺皇目前最宠爱的两位情人。沉香对此迷惑不解：为什么顺皇喜欢这两个绣花枕头？

Dust-scent and Dust-mortal often trained alongside the soldiers guarding the kiln (the migration palace), wrestling with the generals and exchanging martial arts techniques. Dust-scent noticed two tall, handsome generals, Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange. They frequently passed by the migration palace but never exchanged martial arts with the other generals. Dust-scent had already exchanged glances with them several times, observed their movements were stiff and slow, and they were extremely cautious when mounting and dismounting horses. Rumor had it they were Emperor Shun's most favored valentines at present. Dust-scent found this perplexing: Why did Emperor Shun favor these two useless pretty boys?

一天尘香在县政府和同事临冲和路引唠嗑的时候，说起了对郑伦和陈奇的迷惑。林冲说：“我们的法库县，现在已经是法师之乡了。自从十年前，你姥姥西王母把女娲家的祖坟迁到了这里，这里已经来了全国有名的四十多家法师世家。法师也分很多种，郑伦和陈奇是目前政论法师们讨论的焦点。路引就和几位法师很熟，尤其是那位政论法师。”

One day while chatting with colleagues Before-charging and Path-leader at the county government office, Dust-scent voiced his confusion about Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange. Before-charging remarked, "Our Faku County has become a homeland for juristic teachers. Ever since your grandmother, King Mother of the West, relocated her ancestral tomb of Nuwa clan here a decade ago, over forty renowned juristic teacher families from across the nation have settled here. There are many types of juristic teachers, and Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange are currently the focal points of discussion among political juristic teachers. Path-leader is quite familiar with several juristic teachers, especially that Political-discussion."

从此尘香就常跟随林冲和路引去办理和法师相关的纠纷，常去看法师们做法。什么是做法？本书就是法师的教材，这书里面的大部分故事都不是自然发生的，而是由法师们导演的。

From then on, Dust-scent often accompanied Before-charging and Path-leader to handle disputes involving juristic teachers, frequently observing their making-laws (rituals). What exactly is a making-law? This book serves as the juristic teachers' textbook—most of the stories within it are not naturally occurring events, but rather staged by the juristic teachers themselves.

2. 两只晕羊 Two Fainting Sheep

一天，尘香向政论法师询问郑伦和陈奇。

政论法师对尘香说：“我们政论法师行业有很多名人，例如当代的三皇（即尧舜禹）五帝（元始天尊，蔻珠，玉皇大帝和西王母，女娲和伏羲，还有尧皇和二郎神）都是政论法师。政论法师行业的入门知识是金童和玉女（参见10.9 上帝的三和合），例如玉皇大帝，伏羲，和禹皇都是金童；西王母，女娲，和顺皇都是玉女。”

One day, Dust-scent inquired of juristic teacher Political-Discussion about Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange.

Political-Discussion juristic teacher said to Dust-scent: "Our profession of Political Juristic Teacher boasts many renowned figures. For instance, the Three White-kings (Yao, Shun, Yu) of our era and the Five Creators (Primordial Sky Honor, Kouzhu, Turquoise White-king Great Creator, Jiang’zhu (Nuwa), and White-king Yao), are all Political Science Juristic Teachers. The foundational knowledge of the Political Science Juristic Teachers profession involves the Gold Boy and Jade Girl (see fig. 3, see 10.9 Godly Trinity). For instance, Turquoise White-king Great Creator, Fuxi, and White-king Yu are all Gold Boys; while King Mother of the West, Nuwa, and Emperor Shun are all Jade Girls."

政论继续说：“几年前，顺皇在下口镇面试将军们推荐的士官学校的学生时，在一位江南将军推荐的低阶军官中看见了郑伦。她和他谈了几句。随后，顺皇在另一位将军推荐的低阶军官中看见了陈奇，她也和他交谈了几句。 随后她跟女婴叨咕，‘陈奇和郑伦是一对儿（玉女类型的男人和金童；如图14.12-2）；如果把他俩放在一起，就成为一位好的将军了（如图3）。”

女婴回答：“那两个人是两只晕羊。”

顺皇问：“晕羊是什么？”

Political-Discussion said to Dust-scent continuedly: "A few years ago, when Emperor Shun was interviewing students from the cadet school recommended by generals in Xiakou Town, he saw Correct-Ethic among the low-ranking officers recommended by a general. She talked to him for a few words. Later, she saw Exhibit-Strange among the low-ranking officers recommended by another general, and she also talked to him for a few words. Then she muttered to Heroine, 'This Exhibit-Strange and that Correct-Ethic are a pair (a gold boy and a boy of jade girl type), if you are put the two together, they will become a good general (see fig. 3). "

Heroine replied, “Those two are fainting sheep.”

Emperor Shun asked, “What are fainting sheep?”

女婴回答：“晕羊一受到惊吓就晕倒。有些养羊的人就故意羊一两只晕羊。当羊群遇见狼了，晕羊受到惊吓就晕倒了，就被狼吃了；所以羊群得到了保护。郑伦和陈奇都在幼年时有过创伤，导致了他们的肢体运动不协调，反应迟钝。他们上战场，容易受伤，活不了多久就死了。有些将军利用他们这种人的这个特性，用他们做诱饵来引诱敌人上钩。”

顺皇惊讶地叨咕：“这么损！”

女婴回答：“打仗就会有死伤；舍不出孩子套不住狼。他们练习七伤拳人（修习佛教武功的人）的战术就这样。”

Heroine answered, “Fainting sheep faint when frightened. Some shepherds deliberately keep one or two fainting sheep. When the flock encounters wolves, the frightened fainting sheep collapse and are eaten by the wolves; thus, the flock is protected. Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange both suffered childhood trauma that left them with poor motor coordination and slow reactions. When they went into battle, they were easily injured and didn't survive long. Some generals exploited this trait, using them as bait to lure the enemy into traps."

Emperor Shun muttered in astonishment, “How cruel!”

Heroine replied, “War inevitably brings casualties; you can't catch a wolf without sacrificing a lamb. That's how the Seven Wounds Fist practitioners (those who practice Buddhist martial arts) use their tactics.”

3. 祸起萧墙 Trouble Arises from Within

政论对尘香说：“三年后，顺皇（即尘香的母亲，号女娲，嫘祖，如图1）在士官学校的毕业名单上发现了郑伦和陈奇。他们俩将被送回推荐他们来的部队；而那两只部对将出去打仗了。她就和她的副卫队长谈了郑伦和陈奇的事。那位副队长就去了那两只部队把郑伦和陈奇要了出来，带回了皇宫，编进了顺皇的卫队。当时顺皇卫队的队长不在。卫队长回来后，听说来了两个新的卫兵，要看看。卫兵们告诉队长，‘新来的卫兵正在顺皇的寝宫里伺候顺皇呢！’ 队长大叫，‘卫兵和皇帝有私情会破坏卫队的团结，削减卫队的战斗力。’ 说着他就去向天蓬元帅，女婴，汇报这事去了。”

Political-Discussion told Dust-scent: "Three years later, Emperor Shun (Dust-scent's mother, fames Nuwa, Lei Ancestor, see fig. 1) discovered Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange on the graduation roster of the military academy. Both were to be returned to the units that had recommended them, as those two units were about to be deployed to the front lines. She discussed the matter of Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange with her deputy guard captain. The deputy captain went to those two units, retrieved Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange, brought them back to the palace, and assigned them to Emperor Shun's guard. At that time, the captain of Emperor Shun's guard was absent. Upon his return, the captain heard of the two new guards and demanded to see them. The guards informed him, ‘The new recruits are currently attending to Emperor Shun in her private quarters!’ The captain roared, ‘Guards engaging in private affairs with the emperor undermine the unity of the guard and diminish its combat effectiveness!’ With that, he went to report the matter to Celestial Ceiling Marshal, Heroine.”

政论继续说：“女婴听了顺皇卫队长的汇报后，也慌了，说，‘顺皇和小金童睡在一起了。那小金童很快就对大金童（即大禹，禹皇）构成人身威胁了。你先回去做你自己该做的事。我去找国务院总理，娥黄，商量这事，配合你的工作。”

Political-Discussion continued: “After hearing the report from the captain of the Shun Emperor's guard, Heroine also panicked, saying, “The Shun Emperor is sleeping with the Little Gold Boy. That Little Gold Boy will soon pose a physical threat to the Big Gold Boy (i.e., Big Yu, White-king Yu). You go back and do what you're supposed to do. I'll go find the Prime Minister of the State Council, Beauty Yellow, to discuss this matter and coordinate with your work.’”

顺皇的卫队长回到皇宫后求见顺皇。顺皇让他进寝宫说话。卫队长进了顺皇寝室，看见她正和郑伦和陈奇赤身裸体地搂抱着呢，报告说：“皇帝和卫兵的亲密关系会破坏卫队的团结。我不同意接受郑伦和陈奇成为您的卫兵。这事，我已经向女婴汇报过了。”

顺皇说：“我要安插两个士官学校的毕业生到我的卫队。你不同意，那你就把卫队长的职权交给副队长吧。”

The captain of Emperor Shun's guards returned to the palace and asked to see Shun Emperor. Emperor Shun asked him to come to the bedroom to talk. The captain entered Emperor Shun's bedroom and saw her hugging Correct-Ethic and Exhibit-Strange naked. He reported: "The close relationship between the emperor and the guards will destroy the unity of the guards. I do not agree to accept Correct-Ethic and Exhibit-Strange as your guards. I have reported this to Heroine."

Emperor Shun declared, “I intend to place two graduates from the military academy to my personal guard. If you disagree, then relinquish the authority of guard commander to the deputy commander.”

女婴和娥黄来皇宫查看，听说顺皇把她的卫队长撤职了，商议说，“看样子，咱俩现在不应该去劝说。她可能不会在两个 ‘小帅哥’ 面前给咱俩面子。” 女婴和娥黄告诉已经被撤职的卫队长说：“随后我们俩各派一队人来皇宫。你指挥他们，利用天棚安全通道，把郑伦和陈奇圈禁在顺皇的寝宫和她的小后花园里面。他们俩的活动范围小，就不愿意住在皇宫里了。他们俩就该自己想办法离开皇宫了。”

Heroine and Beauty-Yellow came to the palace to check. When they heard that Emperor Shun had dismissed her guard captain, they discussed, "It seems that we should not go to persuade her now. She may not give us face in front of the two 'young hunks'." Heroine and Beauty-Yellow told the dismissed guard captain, "We will each send a team to the palace later. You command them to use the ceiling safety passages to seal Correct-Ethic and Exhibit-Strange in Emperor Shun's bedroom and her small back garden. The two of them wouldn't want to live in the palace with their small range of activities. It would be time for the two of them to find their own way out of the palace."

4. 天兵降临 Sky Soldiers Descend

郑伦和陈奇很快熟悉了顺皇的寝宫和小后花园。一天，顺皇不在，他俩就开始探索皇宫了。他们俩刚要进入顺皇的厨房去拿些酒和水果，一队不知道从哪里出来的卫兵挡住了他们俩的去路。挡他们路的人有的穿着一身青衣，有的穿着一身黄衣，有的穿着一身红衣，还有的穿着一身白衣。他们没有间隙地一个挨着一个站成一排，而且都不说话。

Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange quickly became familiar with the emperor’s bedchamber and the small rear garden. One day, while the emperor was away, the two began exploring the palace. Just as they were about to enter the imperial kitchen to fetch some wine and fruit, a squad of guards appeared out of nowhere, blocking their path. Some wore turquoise robes, others yellow, some red, and a few white. They stood in a tight formation, shoulder to shoulder, not uttering a word.

这哥儿俩去到了卫兵的厨房，吃了些剩饭。回来后，他俩决定去皇宫的前厅看看。忽然一群从天棚上下来的卫兵挡住了他们俩的去路。这群人也是穿着或青或黄或赤或白的衣服，一个挨着一个地站成一排。

顺皇回来后，郑伦和陈奇问她：“那些从天棚上下来的，穿着青黄赤白衣服的人是什么人？”

顺皇回答：“什么青黄赤白人，我没见过。你俩领我去看看！”

The two brothers made their way to the guards' kitchen and ate some leftovers. After returning, they decided to explore the palace's front hall. Suddenly, a group of guards descended from the ceiling, blocking their path. These men, dressed in robes of turquoise, yellow, red, and white, stood in a row, shoulder to shoulder.

After Emperor Shun returned, Correct-Ethic and Exhibit-Strange asked her, “Who were those people dressed in turquoise, yellow, red, and white robes who descended from the ceiling?”

Emperor Shun replied, "What turquoise, yellow, red and white people, I have never seen. You two lead me to have a look!"

郑伦和陈奇就走向皇宫的前堂，顺皇跟在后面。果然，没走多远，一队穿黄色衣服的卫兵和一队穿着青色衣服的卫兵从走廊两边的柱子上滑了下来。三个领队穿着红制服，另外三个领队穿着白制服。他们一个挨着一个地并排挡住了郑伦和陈奇的去路。顺皇走过去看了看，就向回走。一边走她还一边叨咕：“外面那么大，那俩人为什么一定要把她们的男人放到皇宫里。我的皇宫成了什么地方了！？”

回到寝宫后，顺皇告诉郑伦和陈奇：“那些男人，连我都不敢碰，你们俩可别招惹他们。”

Correct-Ethic and Exhibit-Strange then walked towards the front hall of the palace, with Emperor Shun following behind. Sure enough, without going far, a group of guards in yellow and a group in turquoise slid down the pillars on both sides of the corridor. Three of the six leaders wore red uniform, the other three are in white. They blocked Correct-Ethic and Exhibit-Strange's way side by side, one next to the other. Emperor Shun walked over to look at them and walked back. As she walked, she muttered, "It's so big out there, why must those two put their men in the palace. What has my palace become!?"

After returning to the bedchamber, Emperor Shun told Correct-Ethic and Exhibit-Strange: "Those men, even I dare not touch, you two should not provoke them."

5. 政论和陈奇失业了 Correct-Ethic and Exhibit-Strange are Unemployed

一天，郑伦和陈奇向顺皇报告，他们俩被新的皇帝卫队长开除了，需要找工作。

顺皇抱着茅台酒瓶子询问怎么回事。

郑伦回答：“新的卫队长要带着我们俩熟悉皇宫的布防。但是那群穿着青黄赤白的安全局警察不许我们俩走得更远。他就无可奈何地说，‘这我没办法了！我是皇宫的卫队长，负责皇宫的全面安全。你们俩不能跟着我们了。’”

One day, Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange reported to Emperor Shun that they had been dismissed by the new imperial guard captain and needed to find work.

Emperor Shun, clutching a bottle of Maotai liquor, inquired about the situation.

Correct-ethic replied, “The new captain of the guard was supposed to take us both on a tour of the palace's defenses. But those Security Bureau officers in their turquoise, yellow, red, and white uniforms wouldn't let us go any further. He just sighed helplessly and said, ‘There's nothing I can do about it! I'm the captain of the palace guard, responsible for the palace's overall security. You two can't come with us any longer.’”

顺皇说：“哪天我遇见娥黄和女婴后，问问她们俩那是怎么回事。你们俩想喝茅台酒不？”

陈奇回答：“不喝！茅台酒很贵！”

顺皇说：“那你们俩就少喝点儿，尝尝！我不要钱。”

郑伦和陈奇品尝了些茅台酒后，顺皇说：“看你们俩可不像是第一次喝茅台酒。我就发现我这瓶子里的茅台酒变少了。你们俩偷喝过几次了？这瓶茅台酒是我昨天才打开的，今天就剩下一瓶底了；你们俩一天喝掉了一位将军一年的薪水（五百两银子）”

Emperor Shun said, “The day I meet Beauty Yellow and Heroine, I'll ask them what's going on. Do you two want some Maotai?”

Exhibit-strange replied, “No thanks! Maotai is too expensive!”

Emperor Shun said, “Then just have a little taste! I won't charge you.”

After Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange sampled some Maotai, Emperor Shun remarked, “You two don't seem like first-timers with Maotai. I just noticed the level in my bottle has dropped. How many times have you two been sneaking sips? This bottle of Maotai Alcohol was only opened yesterday, and today there's barely a drop left; You two drank away a general's entire year's salary (500 taels of silver) in a single day.”

 

14.12-10 女娲造人出错了 Nuwa Made a Mistake in Creating Humans

目录 Catalog：6. 尘香听走神了 Dust-scent was Lost in Thought；7. 应急国安措施Emergency National Security Measures；8. 社会的根基 Foundation of Society；9. 讨论找工作 Discussions on Job Hunting；10. 女娲造人出错了 Nuwa Made a Mistake in Creating Humans

6. 尘香听走神了 Dust-scent was Lost in Thought

尘香问政论法师：“前面的事，你是从娥黄和女婴那里听说的。后面的事，顺皇（尘香的母亲，如图14.12-1）调戏小帅哥！那是发生在她寝宫里的事，你是怎么知道的？”

政论回答：“郑伦和陈奇现在是守汉窑的将军。他们俩的汉窑在咱们县的西北角，就在行宫的西面。这话是他们俩在向那些土地老们（汉神们）炫耀时说的。”

Dust-scent asked juristic teacher Political-Discussion, “The earlier events—you heard them from Beauty-yellow and Heroine. But the later incident—Emperor Shun (Dust-scent's mother, as shown in Figure 14.12-1) flirting with those two handsome young men! That happened in her private quarters. How did you learn of it?”

Political-Discussion replied, “Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange (as shown I fig. 2) are now the generals guarding the Han Kiln. Their Han Kiln is in the northwest corner of our county, just west of the Migration Palace. They boasted about it to those Earth Gods (Hans) themselves.”

尘香说：“啊！这不奇怪，您继续！”

政论说：“我可是在给你讲 ‘女娲造人’ ；你可别听走样喽！”

尘香回答：“谢谢提醒！刚才我是听走样了！现在，我又回来了！”

Dust-scent said, “Ah! That's not surprising. Please continue!”

Political-Discussion said, “I'm telling you the story of ‘Nuwa Creating Humans;’ don't get distracted now!”

Dust-scent replied, “Thanks for the reminder! I did get distracted earlier! Now I'm back on track!”

7. 应急国安措施Emergency National Security Measures

政论说：“在郑伦和陈奇进入皇宫十几天后，顺皇和他们俩的关系降温了。当娥黄和女婴再次遇见顺皇时，就说了，‘对于目前皇宫内发生的事，我们俩研究决定启动紧急国安措施。为了保护大禹的安全，我们俩让国安警察把郑伦和陈奇圈禁在皇帝寝宫的范围内。我们俩认为郑伦和陈奇必须在三个月内离开皇宫。如果你不同意我们俩的决定，我们俩就发起召开国家政治局会议，讨论这事。”

Political-Discussion stated: "After Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange entered the imperial palace for over ten days, Emperor Shun's relationship with them cooled. When Beauty-yellow and Heroine met Emperor Shun again, they declared: 'Regarding the current events unfolding within the palace, we have jointly decided to activate emergency national security measures. To safeguard the safety of Big Yu, we have instructed the national security police to confine Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange within the boundaries of the imperial bedchamber.' We believe Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange must depart the palace within three months. If you disagree with our decision, we will convene a meeting of the Political Bureau to discuss the matter."

顺皇回答：“我的两位宰相向我宣誓：戒男人了！我当然同意。你们俩放心，我会好吃好喝地招待他们，找个人好好地开导他们。我看你们俩能坚持多久！”

一天顺皇出门时问卫队长：“怎么多天没见着前任卫队长了？把他给我找来！”

Emperor Shun replied, "My two prime ministers swore to me that they would quit from men! Of course I agree. Rest assured, I will treat them to good food and drink and find someone to properly counsel them. Let's see how long you two can keep this up!"

One day, as Emperor Shun was leaving, she asked the captain of the guard, "Why haven't I seen the former captain of the guard for several days? Bring him to me!"

顺皇带着前任的卫队长来到了宗人府（女娲家的宗庙），给他介绍了一位宗祠官。然后，他对宗祠官说：“我想请你替我教教他们如何为人处世。”

顺皇又对前任卫队长说：“你把我们家的这位宗祠官带进宫，连同你自己和陪你一起在作战指挥室坐冷板凳的人，都编进国家安全局警察队。你们吃住在一起，一同执行圈禁郑伦和陈奇的作战任务。”

Emperor Shun brought the former captain of the guard to the ancestral temple of Nuwa's family and introduced him to a clan temple official. Then, she said to the clan temple official: "I want you to teach them how to behave in the mundane world for me."

Emperor Shun then said to the former captain of the guard, "Bring this ancestral hall official from our family into the palace, along with yourself and the people who sit with you in the command center, and incorporate them into the National Security Bureau police force. You will live and eat together and carry out the mission of imprisoning Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange together."

据说，每天早晨当这些国家安全局警卫起床时，那位女娲家的宗祠官会喊一句不同的话，例如 “办事不如东，累死也无功！” 这些警官就琢磨：“怎么他是在说我呢！？” 白天，他们就在一起研究这句话。

当这些人完成了这次作战任务后，出皇宫时都叨咕：“我要去升官发财喽！”

It is said that every morning when these State Security Bureau guards rise, the official in charge of the ancestral hall of Nuwa clan would shout a different phrase, such as: “If your work fails to please the boss, even if you work yourself to death, you'll have no merit!” The officers would then ponder: “Why is he talking about me!?” Throughout the day, they would discuss this very phrase.

After completing their mission, as they exited the palace, they all muttered to themselves: “I'm off to get promoted and make a fortune!”

8. 社会的根基 Foundation of Society

政论法师问尘香：“你说为什么这些人都有类似的感觉和觉悟？”

尘香回答：“这群国家安全局的警察有着共同之处。”

政论说：“你说的对！娥黄和女婴都来自我们国家著名的政论法师家族，她们俩背后各有一群政论法师帮他们挑选人才。我就认为类似这群国家安全局警察的人是现代哲学，社会学，心理学中所认为的社会的基石。”

Political-Discussion juristic-teacher asked Dust-scent, “Why do you think these people share similar feelings and awareness?”

Dust-scent replied, “This group of State Security Bureau officers has something in common.”

Political-Discussion said, “You're right! Beauty-yellow and Heroine both come from our nation's renowned Political-Discussion juristic-teacher lineage. Behind each of them stands a group of Political-Discussion juristic-teacher helping them select talent. I believe that people like these National Security Bureau police officers are the foundation stone of society as defined by modern philosophy, sociology, and psychology."

9. 讨论找工作 Discussions on Job Hunting

政论说：“没多久，郑伦和陈奇就开始挑衅顺皇。一天，陈奇对顺皇说：“我发现你谁都怕，就不怕我们俩。也是，我们俩从小到大，总是挨欺负，都被欺负习惯了，那你也不能占我们的便宜呀！”

顺皇问：“谁认为我啥都不知道，还羡慕我皇帝的工作，我就不怕他。你长得这么高大威猛，怎们还总挨欺负呢？”

Political-Discussion stated: “Before long, Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange began provoking Emperor Shun. One day, Exhibit-strange said to Emperor Shun, ‘I've noticed you're afraid of everyone except us two. It makes sense—we've been bullied our whole lives and grown accustomed to it. But that doesn't mean you can take advantage of us!’”

Emperor Shun asked, “I fear no one who thinks I know nothing and envies my imperial duties. You're so tall and imposing—how come you're always getting bullied on?”

陈奇回答： “我行动笨拙，反应迟钝，所以我就为了不挨欺负，努力锻炼身体。可是我想当将军，我所处的生活环境中，人人都能单臂提起来扔出去125公斤的重物，所以我仍然总是因为 行动笨拙和反应迟钝而被取笑和欺负。”

Exhibit-strange replied: “I'm clumsy and slow to react, so I worked hard to build my strength to avoid being bullied. But I wanted to become a general. In the environment I grew up in, everyone could lift and throw a 125-kilogram object with one arm. So, I was still constantly mocked and bullied because of my clumsiness and slow reactions.”

顺皇说：“我不欺负你们俩。如果我不能为你们找到满意的工作，我就给你们每人一笔钱和路费，送你们回家。”

郑伦问：“你给我们多少钱呐？”

顺皇回答：“你们军官年薪的三倍。”

陈奇叨咕：“那可不是很多钱！”

Emperor Shun declared: “I won't take advantage of you two. If I can't find you satisfactory jobs, I'll give each of you a sum of money and travel expenses to send you home.”

Correct-ethic asked: “How much money will you give us?”

Emperor Shun replied: “Three times your annual salary as military generals.”

Exhibit-strange muttered: “That's not a lot of money!”

顺皇说：“那你们俩就好好伺候我，天天逗我笑。我高兴了，再赏你们军官年薪三倍的钱。”

陈奇说：“那也没多少钱！你就送我们俩回原来的部队呗，为什么要打发我们回家？”

顺皇回答：“你们就干这么点儿事儿，还嫌我我给的少！三条腿的癞蛤蟆不好找，三条腿的男人多的是！别的地方就算是给的多，也多不了多少！我可以再多给你们一些路费，愿意回原来的部队，你们自己回去。我可不会送你们回原来的部队。”

Emperor Shun said, "Then you two serve me well and make me laugh every day. When I'm happy, I will reward you with three times the ‘annual salary of a general’."

Exhibit-Strange said, "That's not much money either! Just send the two of us back to our original military unit, why are you sending us home?"

Emperor Shun replied, "That's all you've done, and you think I'm giving you less! It's hard to find a three-legged toad, but there are plenty of three-legged men! Even if you were given more elsewhere, that won't be much more! I'll give you some more money for the journey. If you want to go back to your original unit, you can do it yourselves. I won't send you back to the unit you originally came from."

郑伦说：“没别的地方！我们俩研究过男妓。男妓不出名不赚钱；一出名，就死了。那些女神家族要求男妓要有正当的行业，不能损坏她们家族的名声，不能利用和她们女神的关系来做广告。我们俩作为军队里的晕羊的成功概率可比男妓好太多了！”

政论法师继续讲：“然后这俩人就开始对顺皇讲他们俩研究出来的战略。”

Correct-ethic said, “There's nowhere else! We've studied male prostitutes. Male prostitutes aren't famous and don't make money; once they become famous, they're finished. Those goddess clans demand their male prostitutes have legitimate occupations, can't tarnish their family's reputation, and can't exploit their connections to goddesses for advertising. Our chances of success as army-based fainting-sheep are way better than male prostitutes!”

Political-Discussion juristic-teacher continued, “Then these two began explaining their devised strategy to Emperor Shun.”

尘香问：“郑伦和陈奇知道他们自己是被人养的晕羊？”

政论回答：“七伤拳是佛教武术的别名，意思是 ‘伤敌十分，自损七分。’ 他们的家乡有佛教传统。在参军的时候，他们的父母就告诉他们了：他们俩适合修习佛门的武功，是晕羊！他们的将军就是晕羊出身！”

Dust-scent asked, “Do Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange know they were raised as fainting-sheep?”

Political-Discussion response: “The Seven-Injury Fist is an alias for Buddhist martial arts, meaning ‘inflict tenfold damage on the enemy while sustaining sevenfold damage oneself.’ Their hometown has a Buddhist tradition. When they enlisted, their parents told them: both were suited to practice Buddhist martial arts—they were ‘fainting sheep’! Their generals themselves were ‘fainting sheep’ also!”

编者我小时侯在读这篇文章的时候，原文顺皇和他们俩讨论了世界上的所有行业。我认为那些行业的辛秘是随后郑伦法眼的根基。后来他们俩成为了顺皇看世界的两只眼睛。郑伦擅长法眼；而陈奇擅长慧眼。

When editor I was young and reading this article, the original text described how Emperor Shun and the two of them discussed every profession in the world. I believe the secrets of those professions formed the foundation for Correct-ethic's Law-Eye. Later, the two of them became the two eyes through which Emperor Shun viewed the world. Correct-ethic excelled in Law-Eye, while Exhibit-Strange excelled in Gnostic-Eye.

陈奇叨咕：“看不出你是怎么当上皇帝的，当皇上窝囊到你这种程度可真不可思议，连安插两个士官毕业生到你自己的卫队都办不到。”

Correct-ethic muttered, “I can't fathom how you ever became emperor. It's truly unbelievable how incompetent you are as a ruler—you can't even manage to place two military academy graduates in your own guard.”

顺皇回答：“你啥也不知道，所以你看我啥也不是。当你成为 ‘正等明’ 时，就知道我现在就是 ‘悉知悉见’ 了。好工作难找！皇帝也不能随意调换别人的职位，你们俩得耐心地等着。你看，他们还给我茅台酒喝呢！咦！早晨这瓶酒还是大半瓶儿呢！怎么现在只剩一瓶儿底的酒了！”

Emperor Shun replied: "You know nothing, therefore you think I am nothing. When you become ‘Correct Equality Light’, you will know that I am ‘all knowing all seeing’ now. Good jobs are hard to find! The emperors cannot change people's positions at will, so you two must wait patiently. Look, they are still giving me Maotai alcohol to drink! Hey! This bottle of alcohol was much more than half full this morning! How come there is only one bottom alcohol left now! You two drank too much!"

政论说：“一天顺皇回来后对他俩说，‘我帮你们找到了三份工作。第一份工作是两个仓库的管理员。第二份工作是两个县尉（副县长）。第三份工作是临时的工作，守护汉窑的将军。他们立刻选择了守窑将军的职位。回答顺皇说， ‘原因是守窑将军的年薪是100两黄金，是普通将军年薪的三倍。’”

Political-Discussion states: "One day, after Emperor Shun returned, he said to the two of them, 'I have found three jobs for you. The first job is to be the manager of two warehouses. The second job is to be two county lieutenants (deputy county magistrates). The third job is temporary, as generals guarding the Han kiln.' They immediately chose the position of kiln-guarding general, replying to Emperor Shun, 'The reason is that the annual salary of the kiln-guarding general is 100 taels of gold, three times the annual salary of an ordinary general.'"

10. 女娲造人出错了 Nuwa Made a Mistake in Creating Humans

政论说：“就这样，郑伦和陈奇成为了守卫咱法库县行宫西北那座汉窑的将军。那座窑本来是由守护行宫的将军代为管理的。随后，人们发现他们俩有同性恋的习惯。据说他们俩在士官学校的时候就常在一起锻炼身体，相互勉励。有人劝说他们俩，没作用。如果像我这样的法师造人出错了，就砍了呗！顺皇是女娲家族的代表，砍不成功的人坯有点儿丢脸！那也没办法！”

Political-Discussion states: "Thus, Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange became the generals guarding the Han kiln northwest of our Faku County Migration Palace. That kiln had originally been managed by the generals protecting the Migration Palace. Later, people discovered they shared homosexual tendencies. It's said they often exercised together and encouraged each other back in military academy. Attempts to dissuade them proved futile. If a juristic teacher like me makes a mistake in creating a human, just chop it off! As a representative of the Nüwa clan, failing to chop off a flawed embryo form is rather embarrassing! But what can you do?"

政论继续说：“最近法师行业内出现了一种新说法。我们法师行业出现了一位新人。如果这个人，也只有这个人能做这件事。如果像是阉割猪似的，他把郑伦和陈奇阉割喽，顺皇的这个造人工程还能继续。”

尘香问：“这位新法师是谁？”

Political-Discussion continued: “A new theory has recently emerged within the juristic teacher profession. A newcomer has appeared in our juristic teacher ranks. If this person—and only this person—can accomplish this task. If he castrates Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange like pigs, then Emperor Shun's human-creating project can continue.”

Dust-scent asked: “Who is this new juristic teacher?”

政论回答：“目前，这位新法师还只是位青少年晚期的孩子，你和我都认识。我这里有咱们县法师家族的名单，你可以各家走走，看看他们正在做的法事。”

随后，尘香就常去各种法师家做客，观看法师做法。

Political-Discussion response: “At present, this new juristic teacher is still just a late-adolescent child—you and I both know him. I have a list of juristic teacher families in our county here. You can visit each household and observe the rituals they're currently performing.”

After that, Dust-scent frequently visited various juristic teachers' homes as guests, watching them perform their rites.

一天，一位政论法师来参观行宫。尘香和他谈起了郑伦和陈奇的故事。说法和前面政论法师说的类似。尘香问新出现的那位法师新秀是谁？这位政论法师回答： “我听说他是这座行宫整修工程的承包商！”

尘香听后，哈哈大笑！

One day, a political juristic teacher came to visit the Migration Palace. Dust-scent shared with him the story of Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange. The account was like what Political-Discussion had mentioned earlier. Dust-scent asked who the newly arrived juristic teacher was. The political juristic teacher replied, “I hear he's the contractor for this Migration Palace's renovation project!”

Upon hearing this, Dust-scent burst into laughter!

返回《女娲后人》的目录 Return Catalog of Nuwa's Descendant